Friday, March 28, 2014

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

― John GreenLooking for Alaska

For the last few weeks, I've been pondering whether I will ever get out of this labyrinth. I've been mapping out some possible solutions or paths I could take; some of which are practical and others are merely wishful thoughts. It seems to me that it will take me 6 to 7 years at the very least to escape this mess I've put myself in if I take the practical route, that is.

And even if I do escape this labyrinth, will I even feel the difference since I'll be numbed and may be used to  the reality by then. 

After reading through John Green's quote for a few times, I can't help but think that is exactly what I'm doing now. 

I guess part of the reason I've been fretting over my uncertain future and trying to think of ways to deal with it is just that: to escape the present.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

I know nothing at all

There was a time when I thought I could do no wrong in whatever I set my heart into doing.

That I know enough about me, my surroundings, the world

It took me a while to figure out how naïve I was and probably still am

The truth is, I know nothing at all.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

Am I still the same girl that I was last year?

How can I still worry about petty matters in my  life when there's so much going on in the world